Periodically I see prayer requests come in from wives who have husbands that are really struggling with pornography. If you are like them, you may be desperate for help because it’s ruining your marriage. Is your husband watching porn?  My heart goes out to you. I’ve been there too.

In fact, I’ve had a number of friends who ended up getting divorced and every one of them had a husband who was addicted to pornography. However, all hope is not lost.  It’s NOT your fault and you can help!  Porn is like a drug.  It changes the brain by flooding it with specific chemicals and this makes it harder for men to love their wives.  Yes, men who view porn admit that they are less in love with their wives as compared to men who have never viewed porn.  So what’s a wife to do?

Covenant Eyes is the best program I know of for protecting people from internet pornography. This program has brought freedom and protection to so many people. In fact many marriage relationships have been restored and strengthened.

What I like most about this program is that it offers not one, but two levels of protection

  • Website Filtering (blocking access to inappropriate websites)
  • Personal Accountability (reporting website usage to an accountability partner)

You have the choice to use one or both of these programs, and many families are finding the personal accountability reports to be the most helpful.

An accountability partner receives reports with subject lines like:

“John’s Report Looks Good”, in which case you may not need to review it. Or it may say “John’s Report Needs Review” or “John’s Report Needs Urgent Close Review”.

If you have children, Covenant Eyes offers many different options for customizing the reporting for each person in the family because a 17 year old’s needs are going to be different from an 8 year old’s needs.

They also offer the option of blocking internet usage completely during the times of day (or night) that you find yourself to be most tempted. Sadly, too many men (and even children) will “sneak” onto the computer after the house is quiet. Turning off access to the internet at night is easy with the Covenant Eyes program.

The effects of pornography are devastating on men and their families. It lowers their view of women (who should be valued and cherished), it decreases sexual satisfaction, and it causes the viewer to become indifferent to sexual cruelty.

I’ve also found that men who view pornography tend to be unhappy. The reason for this is that pornography affects the brain in such a way that it becomes desensitized to pleasure in general. Odd how something that seams so pleasureful at the moment actually robs you of happiness. But that’s Satan’s tactic. Get them deeply hooked so they can’t experience the love of God in their heart. Christian men who view pornography may understand in their mind that God loves them, but they have a very difficult time feeling His love… or yours, for that matter.

Satan is out to destroy our marriages and steal our joy. Don’t let it rob you of a happy life and a happy marriage. Give your family the best protection possible and invest in a program that will help bring joy and happiness into your life. If your husband is watching porn, there is something you can do to help him. Click here to find out what to do next  or go here to learn more about the Covenant Eyes program.